someone once told me that God created us for fellowship.... was so excited so hear that.... now i began to wonder....
if God created us for fellowship... then why am i so alone....? why does so people reject me....? how come im invisible....? how is it possible that when im in a bus, so fully packed that people have to stand, and the seat next to me is empty....? what's more the bus is packed with church people, not strangers..... how come whenever i ask someone out... nobody seems to be free....? why is it that i am never invited anywhere...? how come im always left in a corner....? shivering alone in the cold....? why is it that when i go up to the altar to pray, none of my cell group members joined me...? i looked around.... all have partners.... held hands and stood in a circle.... and im all alone.... felt crushed.... so crushed.... this is how you can feel alone even when you're among people you know.... but i have to thank God.... he stood beside me.... gave me his warm embrace.... at least im remembered....
after the service..... angela, shara, rongjun and wee kiat all went to eat.... leaving the rest behind.... what's this...? another time where im part of the group being left out... why is it always me....?
there are a few who saw me when im invisible.... first and foremost, God....i love you, oh Heavenly father.... second person, my mum.... always there for me.... thirdly..... liang zhi.... my brother, my mentor, any problems i can share with him freely.... lastly cynthia.... she's able to see me when im invisible.... she remembers my presence....
someone once asked.... if you were to die right now.... would you like to be remembered as a bad person or a good one....? and i started to wonder.... came to a conclusion.... i am not goin to be remembered by anyone on earth....
i'll stop bloggin.... nobody reads anyway.....
today's colour: needless to say....
