*.* Sea of Galilee *.*
Saturday, August 20, 2005 it's over....
it's finally over... my perlims... and perhaps my childishness....?wednesday had science papers... simple, actually.... i sleep more than i did my questions... i always do this well, even without studying... im not bragging... just telling facts...after that went to macdonalds behind our school to study with sabrina, mark, shara and danelle... sang a happy birthday song for danelle... it's her birthday... we bought just a lil cake.. nothing much... but it's still cool.... i did some DnT... sabrina did math as it's math paper 2 the next day.... asked me some questions... i stared at the question for 10 min... than realise that it could be solved rather easily.... what came over me....? exam stress...? i never felt any in my entire life... or issit the reason that teck soon wanna see me later on...? im freaking myself out....after that went to westmall bk... i din eat anything.... but crap... my heart was beathing fast.... God's preparing my heart.... i felt it again... God's prompting... his conviction in my heart.... well... im not telling what happened during the conversation... the more i talk about it the more i feel sad....but seriously folks.... am i that scary...? why am i scaring ppl away...? how come there are still people who are avoiding me like plaque...? am i that irritating....? does my childishness disgust you..? i'm not sure... but perhaps it's time... or it should have been a long time ago... i think i should grow up.... throw away my childishness.... and just be mature and sensative to others.... get out ot the immature, naive, disgusting and irritating me... just throw away my own lil world and start to live in this big world full of other people.... maybe it's time... but even if im woken up from my sleep.... how long will i stay awake...? how long will i stay mature...? will i ever go back to the childish and naive me....? i will never know the future....thursday had math paper 2... did for 50 min... slept for 40... ah well... that's what i always do... after school went to bind my Dnt... waited for so darn long... after binded went to touch up a bit and handed in.... but it's still not the end...friday had Dnt... my last paper... finally.... last paper... i anyhow did it... i dun care about Dnt... not anymore... this stupid subject have took many sleepless nights.... i dun wanna care... i dun like this subject at all... darn stressful....after school i even had to stay back to do the final touching up for my DnT.... ouch... and i was done only at around 3.30... crap!! i wanted to spend time with my mum... wanna have lunch with her... and just hang out with her... i never really got the chance to go out with my mum.... and i cherish every time i have with her.... crap man... stupid dnt take up so much time... i dun have time for so many things... sleep.... time with family... i sacrificed it all for my work... hate this man.... i wanna spend time with my family... how i love them so... and yet unable to commit to them... haiz....i rushed to causeway point.... had some pasta and pizza... was so full.... thank you mum.... but i have to rush to westmall after that... haiz... im always so rushy... how i wish i could take some time and just relax... close my eyes.... really sleep well... without interuption... i cant really do that nowadays... weekdays have school... sat have church... sun have tuition... life is so tiring....after that went bk... but zhi told us go bukit timah mac... so we went there... and crap my dad cought me with shara.... ah well... i'll laugh it off...zealot is splitting.... the original zealot and the zealot with all new members... zhizhi will be taking shara and sabrina along... me...? im goin over to alvin's side... so i'll be under new management... haiz... have to adapt... i'll miss you guys... shara, sabrina, liang zhi.... it was great to be in the same core with you guys... love you all forever...crap... this whole thing is crap... im feeling crap.... too tired... just wanna sleep... but cant even find the time... have to sacrifice my own time for other stuff.... i cant take it already... im fully stretched... and now... knowing that i just stumbled a fellow sister... isint making anything better... i felt guilty... felt like crap... aw crap....i still love my own little world....today's colour: can i stay in my own little world for good and dun give a crae about anything in the world...?
I blogged @ | 4:01 PM
{Lift up your eyes, all you Heavens, and Worship}
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